Let me kiss your shadow
by Bleeding Bird
Summary: Everyone dreams. Blaine lives in his dreams. Every night, he meets Sam, or rather, his perfect copy. Blaine is totally in love with this "clone", but when the original one, a so different person, admits having feelings for him, who Blaine will choose? (rated M for a future chapter) Please review! :)
1. Chapter 1

****The Characters belong to Ryan Murphy and his associates, but I own the story! :DThe Song "I want to break free" belongs to the amazing band "Queen"

This is my first story, and I'm French so please be kind! I want to thank my so essential friend **UpReenDown**, for being my beta and who helped me for my spelling mistakes xp! I hope you will like it! Submit me your ideas! Revvviiiiiieeeeewwwwss :)

**Let me kiss your shadow**

**Chapter 1**

It was a perfect moment. Maybe too perfect, Blaine thought.

Sat on the top of the hill, his eyes were lost in the grass that was surrounding him. Even though it was windy, the sun warmed his skin and blinded him. Perfect. A gentle hand brushed his cheek. He looked up to find a wonderful smile, platinum blond hair and a pair of blue eyes watching him intently.

'You're perfect.' said the blond boy before him.

He remained silent for a while, before speaking.

'It's not true, nothing here is true. It's so illusory…' answered Blaine with a soft sigh, before going back to starring at the grass.

Sam took Blaine's chin in his hand, forcing him to look up and said:

-But you like it.

Blaine didn't want to answer. It would have been useless. But he definitely did like it.

Sam interrupted him in his thoughts with a soft kiss, as the wind was blowing wildly, giving him chills. When he pulled away from Blaine, Sam whispered:

-I love you.

As Blaine smiled and stared at Sam, a weird noise coming from nowhere came to his ears. It became stronger and stronger, but the blond boy didn't seem to hear it. The strange sound became clearer; it was an alarm clock ringing.

Blaine closed his eyes; he was so upset right now. Even the most beautiful moments had to end.

-I gotta go… You'll be there tonight? Asked Blaine, nearly begging.

-Sure I will! Said Sam, so confident.

Blaine lay down on the grass, and took a last deep breath.

Utter darkness.

It was just a dream.

He woke up in his small and cold bedroom. It had nothing to do with the green hill he was sitting on, only a minute ago. He took the alarm clock and stopped it, before putting it on his bedside table. He opened his windows, and smiled, feeling the wind going through his curly dark hair, the same wind that made him chill before.

Almost every night, he kind of "met" Sam in his dreams. Well, not really. It wasn't Sam. It was a dream, just a dream. And Blaine was totally in love with him. Not the real one, the fake one. It took a long time to Blaine to understand that they were two different persons, but he had to admit it. Why did he take his appearance? Blaine didn't really know. The real Sam was straight of course, and probably homophobe, because he always avoided him, in every situation, like singing a duet, practicing boxing… But he didn't care, because the fake one made him happy, even knowing he wasn't true. Blaine lived at night in his bed, and yet in so many places, and it was enough for the moment. He knew one day he would need more than just a dream, but he tried not to think about it.

He took a quick shower before breakfast, and went to school, as usual.

Wearing a new bowtie and a t-shirt with stripes and short sleeves, Blaine walked through the McKinley High school hallways with pride and dignity. Being gay wasn't easy, but if he wanted to make things change, he had to be an example for other people like him. It was his senior year, and he wanted it to be grand. He wanted to make every day a new challenge to improve in every way possible. Fortunately, there was Glee club. It was the only place in the world where he could feel at home.

When he started dreaming of Sam, Blaine was very ill-at-ease, thinking the blond boy would probably identify his "feelings", but since he found out he didn't feel anything for him, he had relaxed and moved on.

He arrived on time in the choir room and saw Mister Schue reading some partitions on the piano. Blaine had always liked Mister Schue, not because he had abs to die for, but because he was a really good teacher, and even if it sounded weird, he was a friend to Blaine. He supported him when he was rejected by everyone after cheating on Kurt. Because even if he did wrong, Kurt wasn't there for him and avoided him more than Sam did, and his job was more important than his boyfriend so…

Blaine put his bag on a chair and sat on another one. He was surprised no one was there, but he loved these moments with his teacher.

-How are you Mister Schue? You seem quite tired, asked politely Blaine.

-Oh fine thank you! Yeah, I'm getting tired with the songs we have to perform for regionals! They're getting closer each day, and I still can't choose the perfect song! I can't make up my mind…

-Let me see! Proposed Blaine.

He rose from his chair and went to the piano. It took a look at the musical scores, and raised his eyebrows.

-Wow, said the boy. Those are great songs! Can I pick up one to try it?

-Sure! Said his teacher.

Blaine took a partition called "I want to break free" by Queen and cleared his throat. He closed his eyes and slowly opened his mouth. The sound of his voice came out in the most melodious way possible:

**I want to break free****  
****I want to break free****  
****I want to break free from your lies****  
****You're so self satisfied I don't need you****  
****I've got to break free****  
****God knows, God knows I want to break free**

Blaine enjoyed the song so much that he couldn't help himself dancing in all the choir room. He loved so much Freddy Mercury, his songs, his way to be… He wanted to be like him, to be him!

The young boy had the rhythm in him; he could feel it, like everyone else could.

Besides, the song reflected him so perfectly.

**I've fallen in love****  
****I've fallen in love for the first time****  
****And this time I know it's for real****  
****I've fallen in love yeah****  
****God knows God knows I've fallen in love****It's strange but it's true****  
****I can't get over the way you love me like you do****  
****But I have to be su…**

Suddenly the music stopped, making Blaine feel really uncomfortable, and quite humiliated. But this first shock was nothing compared to the second one, when Blaine realised that it was Sam, who pressed the 'stop' button.

The disruptor seemed a bit confused but spoke anyway:

-Mister Schue, can I please talk to you for a minute? You have to …

-Why the hell did you stop me? Couldn't you just wait? Asked Blaine, irritated.

He could not believe it. Sam was driving him crazy; He never approached him, but when he finally did, it was to make him feel annoyed and humiliated. Brilliant.

Sam couldn't stay motionless, and Blaine fancied Sam making small nervous jumps.

-I'm sorry Blaine, but actually I couldn't. Now please come with me mister Schue! Sam said, hurried.

Mister Schue rose from his chair and came to Sam.

-Let's go Sam, said the teacher, increasingly worried. Sorry Blaine, I'm coming back in a few minutes.

Blaine dropped his arms as the two men were leaving the room. There was nothing more he could do, Sam won. Once again.

He sat on the chair mister Schue left ten seconds ago, in a total silence. He put his elbows on his knees, and took his head in his hands, powerless.

He had nothing to do, so he thought. He thought about his life, the way something unusual made him happy. Somehow, he felt silly to be happy thanks to that. But from another point of view, if it really did make him happy, was it that silly? "I mean", He thought "I'm tired of looking for happiness everywhere I go, so if I finally found what can bring joy into my life, what's wrong with that?" He couldn't wait to see Sam tonight. Or whoever "he" was.

But he had no more time to think about the magical trip he was going to have this night, because a painful scream came from the corridors to his ears.


	2. Chapter 2

****Hi guys! Sorry for being this long! I hope you will like this new chapter ;)!

(The characters belong to Ryan Murphy and the song belongs to My Chemical Romance)

I want to thank again my dear friend **UpReenDown**, my beta!

(we are both really sad about My Chemical Romance's break up ;'( )

Leave Revieeeewwws! :)

**Chapter 2**

Blaine was really confused. As Sam (from the dream) passed a hand through the curly black hair, Blaine rested on the railing of the huge boat they were sailing on. The black sea reflecting the sunset wasn't enough for him to make him comfortable. He could remember every detail, when he suddenly heard the scream…

Every little detail.

Sam, coming in the choir room, as Blaine jumped from his chair, seeing the anxiety on Sam's face.

The screams getting louder and louder each second.

The entire Glee club entering, all around Jake, barely standing on his feet, jaw tight.

Yes, Jake was screaming. Blaine couldn't explain why, but he was agonizing in front of him, screaming with a blend of rage and pain.

Blaine came out of his thoughts, and stared at the sun, setting, but yet in this location for a few hours now. He felt two big arms pulling him tight.

-It's not your fault Blainey… whispered Sam in his ear.

-A brain tumor Sam… the doctors have diagnosed a brain tumor, and I was upset about Sam – well, the real one – how could I be so unbearable?

-You are not unbearable… Said Sam, his nose travelling in Blaine's nape.

Blaine felt a chill in his spine. He put his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying Sam' caress.

-I always react strangely when Sam is around… Moaned Blaine.

-It's because you love him, Said Sam, while continuing to smell Blaine's neck.

Blaine suddenly straightened his head, and turned around to face Sam, with a look of misunderstanding.

-What? Asked Blaine, shocked. No! I-I love you!

Sam stared at Blaine, snide.

-But am I not him?

-No, you're not! Answered Blaine. And that's not what we were talking about! Jake has a brain tumor! I have to help him.

Actually he needed to help him. Blaine felt guilty about being so arrogant, while Jake was suffering. Yes, he needed to show he was human, but he also really cared about his friend. Tears ran down his cheeks. Sam kissed Blaine for a long time, and dried Blaine's tears with a soft touch. Blaine bowed his head and turned his gaze to the ground.

-And how do you think you're gonna help him? Asked Sam, curious.

The dark-haired boy raised his eyes a little, but didn't say a word, thoughtful. He clearly had not thought about that.

Sam didn't let him any time to answer; he pulled Blaine closer and hugged him.

-Maybe you should do what no one else does better than you… Sam whispered.

Blaine woke up in his bed, shirtless, and his hair messed. He ran a hand through it, and stayed seated for a while, thinking. Eventually he jumped out of his bead, decided to do something for Jake. But what did Sam mean? Something no one else does better than him… the word "Singing" came in his mind a moment, but it was too snooty, and he never thought that.

Blaine put black pants and a white polo, both very tight as usual, but he didn't put any bowtie this time, it was Easter, and so a holiday.

He spent the morning thinking about how and when he was going to help Jake. Yes, he only knew him for several months, and they didn't talk a lot, but Blaine considered their distant relation as friendship. So he made a list of things he could do: there were singing, (but it would be too much and too theatrical, and Blaine is not Rachel Berry), a bouquet of flowers (but this was also too much, and Jake is not a girl, or even gay so…), and finally make a video of him and his friends (BUT again, it would be like he was dying soon, which was probably true, and Blaine didn't want to think about that, as much as Jake certainly…). He was lost; he had no idea of what he could do to help Jake.

"I'm an awful friend" he thought.

After he took lunch, Blaine decided to go to the hospital, where Jake was now. Even though Jake wasn't conscious, Blaine hoped it would please him. The hospital wasn't very far from his house, so he walked till there, but each step he made was making him more anxious; and what if he didn't want to see him? What if he was suffering terribly? What if… Too late, he was there.

The glass doors opened before Blaine, silent, watching the gleaming whiteness of the hospital, almost blinding him. As he came in, a gurney passed him, driven by five doctors. The patient was in a very bad state, and Blaine took a step back, thinking that it could be Jake, and realizing how much Jake death would hurts him. But he was reassured when he saw the pale skin of the boy, knowing by heart the dark complexion of his friend, even though he felt really bad for this unfortunate unknown one.

Blaine went to the office in front of him, where sat a beautiful black woman, smiling at the young boy. He smiled back, charmed by the nice look of the woman.

-Hello, said Blaine. Can you help me find a patient? His name is Jake Puckerman.

-Of course, replied the woman politely, still smiling.

She taped keys on her keyboard, watched a little bit closer her screen while squinting, and finally straightened to stare at Blaine and say:

-He's on the third floor, room 47.

Blaine thanked her, and went to the third floor, pretty nervous, but really happy, smiling to all the staff of the hospital, until he reached the desired room. He was about to press the handle, when he heard behind the door a recognizable voice singing. The voice was powerful, strong and so melodious…

**Turn away…**

**If you could get me a drink of water,**

**'Cause my lips are chapped and faded,****  
****Call my Aunt Marie…**

**Help her gather all my things,**

**And bury me in all my favorite colors, **

**My sister and my brother still…**

**I will not kiss you!**

'**Cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you…**

Blaine didn't want to interrupt him; it was such a perfect moment. Even though Jake sang really well, the song was so sad that it made him cry, and he couldn't hold his tears any longer. He closed his eyes and listened quietly.

**Now turn away…**

'**Cause I'm awful just to see,**

'**Cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,**

**Oh my agony…**

**Know that I will never marry!**

**Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo,**

**But counting down the days to go****…**

Blaine pushed the door slightly; he wanted to see Jake when he was singing, with all his heart open. He wanted to discover who Jake was when he was alone, how he was without the pressure and modesty.

**It just ain't living!**

**And I just hope you know,**

**That if you say,**

**Goodbye today,**

**I'd ask you to be true…**

Jake was standing before the mirror, in a hospital gown. His eyes weren't looking in front of him; they were avoiding him, like he couldn't look at himself without revulsion. As the half-breed boy was singing the last words of the song, Blaine came in the room, leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

'**Cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you,**

'**Cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you…**

During the last three words of the song, Jake saw Blaine in the mirror and smile while he was singing. When he finished, he turned around with a huge smile on his face, covering the sadness Blaine saw a few seconds ago. The smaller boy stayed leaned on the wall, amazed, and said:

-Wow…

-Blaine! Said Jake happily.

Both of the teenagers went toward each other, and hugged. Blaine was quite surprised by such a thing, he wasn't used to receive this type of attention from Jake, but he thought it must be the lack of friends in the hospital. They sat on the bed in the middle of the room, and stared at each other, with a mix of happiness and discomfort.

-So, how are you Jake? Asked Blaine. Is the staff kind with you?

-Yeah! Answered Jake hesitating. They're all kind, but I miss you guys so much. I mean not the school stuff, but Glee club has become so important to me.

-I confess we all feel an important voice is missing, reassured Blaine. You have such a beautiful voice, I couldn't help myself crying!

Jake laughed, embarrassed by so many compliments. He passed a hand over his neck, and saw Blaine lost in his thoughts; he was about to talk. He was about to talk about **this**.

Blaine hesitated, and after he cleared his throats, he finally said:

-Hum… Jake, do you know…

-Well, I'm not aware yet of the seriousness, cut Jake. But it's confirmed, I have a brain tumor.

Blaine opened his mouths again; he wanted to say something, when Jake started to sob. Blaine had never seen Jake sob.

-And I honestly don't know if I'm going to get out of this, said Jake between two tears.

Blaine put a hand on Jake's shoulder.

-You will get out of this Jake, answered Blaine, confident. You're strong. You know that. It's obvious to me.

Even if Blaine really believed what he said, there remained a tiny little doubt deep in his heart. But he didn't want to pay attention.

-You're really kind Blaine, said Jake. You know I always liked you, you are a good person.

-Thank you… Said Blaine intrigued. I really like you too, but I never felt anything from you but avoidance, which is normal; I mean, every straight man avoid me. Oh I'm sorry I start talking about me, I'm annoying…

-You're not I swear… And maybe that's why I like you, you're nice and sweet.

Blaine was confused. It went a little bit too far for a normal conversation. Especially when one of the two people was straight as possible. The tears had disappeared, leaving a big and honest smile, and swinging legs.

-Thank you Jake, said Blaine with a mysterious look. Do you take some drugs? Because you seems very nervous and happy at the same time…

-Maybe it's not the drugs, said Jake mocking.

-So what? Asked Blaine truly lost.

Jake came closer to Blaine, took his chin in a hand, and put the other on his cheek. Blaine felt uncomfortable, but also happy; Jake was beautiful even close…

-Maybe I'm not as straight as you said… murmured Jake sensually.

As he was talking, Jake brought his lips closer to Blaine's, until he finally reached them. They closed their eyes and started kissing. Blaine never felt like this before; as their lips danced together, and their tongues were fighting, Blaine put both hands on Jake's neck, and they lay on Jake's bed, Blaine on Jake's body. The taller boy placed his hands under Blaine's shirt but the curly-haired boy straightened up and stopped him.

-Jake, it's a hospital, we can't do it here! The door and the windows are open! Whispered Blaine worried.

They set up, as nothing happened. They looked at each other with excitement, but also confusion from Blaine. Was it real? Did this just happen?

-Sorry, apologized Jake. I didn't want to… Blaine forgive me, it's been a so long I wanted to kiss you…

-Wait, what? Said Blaine surprised. I don't get it… I really thought you were straight. Weren't you dating Marley?

-I'm straight, answered Jake. Well, I think I am. This is the first time this happens to me; I need your help, I don't know how to manage that…

-Hum… You seemed to manage it a minute ago, intervened Blaine, his cheeks suddenly blushing.

They both laughed, their faces happy as ever, not noticing the blond boy behind the window, spying them, a tear flowing on his right cheek.


End file.
